also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
