her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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