the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
