3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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