My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
