did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
