i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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