she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
