he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
