I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
