Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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