I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Fuck appropriateness.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
