i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
