whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
