It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
