pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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