SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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