I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
