You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
