Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
PANTIES FOUND
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