He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
