Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
