you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
