Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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