I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
