I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
