I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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