Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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