I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
