there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If I die, sorry about rent.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
