God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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