The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
