Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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