Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
