Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Randomize
