Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I can't put those talents on a resume
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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