at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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