im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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