Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
