Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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