i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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