but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
