i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
