so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
