i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
