Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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