The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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