I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
