if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
