So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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